Life is a series of disappointments interrupted by sleep  -  THE AUTOBIOGRAPHY OF GOD as told to Mel Schneider

When I was young, female actors were encapsulated. Our roles consisted of swooning over leading men, many of whom swooned over leading men - The Biography of Margaret Dawson

Porcupines get laid more than I do - Generations Apart

You're looking for someone who's discreet? Nobody is more discreet than I am. You can ask my neighbor's wife  -  This Is Not A Test

Whoa - community service. You a regular Tupac - Mickey and Anthony

A pee container? Are you crazy? Do I look like the type of person who pees into a container? - The Hospital Room


Most actors only have something worthwhile to say when they are speaking other people's words - Like Marshmallow Chicks in a Box

Okay now this is important. This is very, very important. Did you notice if I still had an erection? - Standing Tall

I don't think we can orchestrate another dead president - Moses of the New Millenium

This is an insane asylum and you're one of the fucking patients - Taking Secrets to the Grave

A credit? I don't think I know how to do a credit. Oh God I could lose my job. And I just started today - No Returns

Nixon, Nixon, Nixon. Quite a president, quite a man - Signals

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